I was born on a day like today one hundred and a half years ago more or less or … this is how old I feel nowadays, I’m not sure which one of these assertions is more certain.
I had quite a usual childhood. I was born in a family like many other families and, as my mother always reminds me, I was the fruit of her love for my father. I grew up under my parents’ shade with nothing special to remember or, as I realized not so long ago, with the ability of putting in the forgotten things box all the things that happen in my life that I didn’t want to remember. Like many others I grew up with no responsibilities just enjoying life, having lots of fun with my friends and trying to learn as many things as possible, with as little effort as possible of course, from those who had to teach me subjects that I was going to need in the future …
Days went by, seasons left us one after the other and then years passed and I realized that I was looking forward to the day in which I was considered an adult. The older I was the more responsibilities I assumed and I began to look up to those who were able to go far away from the mountains, those who were able to see other places, those who found new horizons in their lives … if only I could fly !
And I began to dream. If I could fly I could go away to other valleys, no ! to other countries, no ! I could go wherever I wanted all over the world, I could meet a lot of others like me, have lots of fun with them and not be worried about my responsibilities and not be afraid of Future … but it was impossible, I was always thinking about these things, I was always thinking about those things that make me have “my feet on the ground” and be concerned about all kinds of things … if only I could fly !
Some time ago, when I was in the middle of my life, on a rainy morning I was looking at the most beautiful view that I had ever seen with who was going to be my better half, we were admiring the most beautiful rainbow that I had ever seen. I wished to have just a minute in my life in which I was able to leave the earth, fly over the rainbow and think just about me, nothing else but me, no others, no future, no responsibilities, “I’m so young to have to be thinking about everything but me”… if only I could fly !
And life went on, one day, I don’t remember when, I gave up dreaming, “I’m an adult and I have to do what I have to do” and I began to do what others were expecting me to do. I have never seen that rainbow again that, for the first time in my life made me feel free, but it wasn’t a problem because I was a successful one ! Every day more sad, every day with deeper roots, but it wasn’t a problem because I was a successful one !
I’m not going to be the one you are expecting me to be anymore !!!
That was exactly what I told myself when I realized that I had been doing what others expected of me and transforming me into something that I didn’t recognize … if only I could fly ! no if only ! I could! I need to! I have to fly over the rainbow that I saw years ago, I have to feel free again if only for a second in my life, I’m taking my roots out from the ground, and I’m running as fast as I need to begin flying, no matter what happens I’m gonna fly over the rainbow, I’m flying !
Suddenly my wings broke down, just at that moment when I was going to touch the rainbow something has broken my brand new wings … I wake up from my dream, it was just a dream, nothing more than a dream, I have to continue with my roots in the ground, waking up early every morning, doing the same things every day of my life, but it isn’t a problem because, somehow, deeply inside me, I have always known that I’m a special one, one of those that can only exist on earth ones in each generation, the one that knows that its responsibilities are more relevant than its feelings and even its dreams, one that knows that it’s privileged because it knows that its sacrifice allows others to see the rainbow and this one is exactly who I am.
Yours sincerely
The tree who holds the sun